Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I know that all it takes is one egg – but in terms of egg production, 5 eggs will in all likely hood put as at another Day 3 transfer with no possibility of FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). Statistically speaking Day 5 has better pregnancy success numbers, but according to our Dr. Day 3 transfers can be just as successful.
Looking at the bright side – I am happy I got 5 eggs as there was a part of me that was kind of worried that there may be no eggs. I mean I did have a ruptured appendix for like 36 hours before it was taken out. It is possible that the toxins from my appendix could have destroyed all my eggs – so I am thankful there are some…and as I type this I am reminded that I am blessed to be alive after all of that ordeal.
So – with my history, my age, my response my Doctor was pleased overall – although he did want me to be pregnant right now. So – the dilemma is what to do now. Time is of the essence…as 35 is right around the corner and if we move forward we will need to try IVF later this summer. It is hard to make a decision still as both of us feel we have no clarity or direction about this. Of course the financial burden of this weights heavily on us both, but the emotional toll this has taken has been just as rough. We are going to take the next month to pray, talk and look at our options. Thanks for everyone’s support.
Monday, April 28, 2008
My sister, her friend Melissa and I got to have a girls night and went to have Ice Cream. The Ice Cream staff told us if we sang karaoke we would get free ice cream. Well you know I am all about scoring the deal...so we sang (what I thought was a short song) It's my party! The ice cream staff loved us and asked us to come back next week. HA! I was in the band and there is a reason I don't sing so much in public, although I think I can carry a tune decently. We saw a movie called Miss Pettigrew Lives for A Day...nice period piece with Amy Adams in it. What a fun night we had.
On our way out of town, we got to visit with Aunt Ash and Tom. We also got to hang out with Bean's Mimi and Poppy and Nana and Gramps. Bean is so blessed and loved my all her grandparents.
Today - Reality is back and we need your prayers. Our AC unit has exceeded it's life expectancy and needs to be replaced. I have had a service tech and engineer here at the house today and it looks like everything needs to be replaced. As you may imagine this is a huge expense and we are still recovering from all the IVF expenses.
Also our dryer has decided to make some awful noises like it is taking off to Mars...I don't think we enrolled the dryer in the astronaut program..so I imagine that our dryer is going out too ;(
Please keep us in your prayers! Tomorrow is my IVF follow up with the fertility doctor....I will keep ya posted.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
I went to random.org and the lucky winner is #96 Josie. Congrats to Josie. I am already looking forward to the summer bloggy giveaway carnival.
Hello and welcome to my first bloggy giveaway. So you ask "What ya got for me?" I have a gift card to Chick Fil A for $15.00. Who does not love me some Chick-fil-A - right?
Please say "Hi" and drop me a comment below to enter to win. Comments are open till midnight on Saturday April 26th. Winner will be picked (randomly) on Sunday, April 27 and e-mailed/announced on this blog thereafter. Please make sure I have a way to contact you via your blogger info or leave me an e-mail in the comments. Please only one entry per person. Good Luck! If you want to enter other giveways - please click here. Have a blessed week!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The spray of the sea, the salt in the air
The sun on my face and the wind in my hair
All of these things I have been blessed with today
As I journey through life, making my way
As I revel & dance & sing praises to God
I try hard not to think that this season will end
For over the horizon, lies a storm of great power
Where ebony clouds and forked lightening abound
Where the winds whip the sea in a white tipped froth
Where many a ship has lost and heart and been lost
I try not to worry as to where I will be
After I sail through the storm that God has for me
Will I be a soul who loses his way?
Who forsakes God's plans for safety and ease?
Only to look back with regrets and no peace?
Or will I be strong in my faith before God?
Trusting him to guide me, though the storm has been hard
Knowing that only through him comes Shalom
I declare that Lord Jesus is powerful and true!
Any any future I have Lord comes only through you!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Are these not the coolest - palm scrubbing brush and palm veggies shredder? We also had a lovely lunch and it was just good to get out and breath!
I came home and a notice of flower delivery...Here are the beautiful flowers (purple - my favorite) my playgroup Mom's sent. Y'all are awesome ladies!Then my good friend Debbie (who moved far way and I don't get to see nearly enough) came over and brought us dinner! She brought the bean a pink poodle webkinz....Bean has a particular obsession for pink poodles - so Deb did good with this choice. She also brought me a book and some body wash. And then her co-workers and her all signed a lovely card and gave me this dried flower arrangement below. How sweet to know that people I don't know took time out to pray for me and show me kindness.
Some of my good friends are having me over to cry and eat pizza. Thanks for all the support. I still feel raw right now - but am trying to process. I have a lot to be thankful for and am trying to see the light in the mist of this dark news.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
We are very much in the grieving process right now and expect this will take a long time to get over. To cope yesterday, I watched the Poseidon Adventure (the remake), drank the largest Dr. Pepper on the face of the earth and ate large quantities of Taco Bueno. Strange I know - I am just trying to deal though.
This has been hard on us all. Alex (our dog) threw up all over. I think the stress is getting to her as well. Bean dried my tears yesterday and told me she would take care of me. At dinner she told us she is going to get an airplane - fly to the clouds to meet God - get our babies back - and put them back in my tummy. I tried to explain that they had stopped growing and she is trying to process. She said but Mommy their picture is on the fridge and they are still growing - and I told her that they had stopped as it was not time for them to be here with us. (yes - we took the picture of the fridge - too hard to look at) This has got to be a lot for a four year old - but she has been blessed with an amazing grace - that I think she understands.
Today I am going to shop to take my mind off things. I need to stop listening to the Peter Gabriel Song "I grieve" and REM's "Everybody Hurts." I also need to say no to Poptarts...
I will keep posting as this is a way for me to deal with my emotions. I am still having a hard time talking about it - without turning into a blubbering mess.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I know that God knows the plans for us...but sometimes I wish they were not so hard. For once I hoped that something would go a bit easier.....I use that term loosely, because just to get here - to do IVF - was years of waiting, several surgeries, and thousands of dollars.
I am thankful for Roon, the most supportive husband ever and Bean who is without fail a light in my life. I am so blessed to be a Mommy and I had hoped to have more children to share the love with, but alas I don't know that we will.
Thanks for your support, prayers and encouragement.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Bean has been asking me " Is there babies in your tummy Mommy?" I tell her that I hope so. She offered to let me have her Cinderella baby to put in my tummy. She is just the sweetest. I showed her the embryo pics and she looked at them and said "Where is the head?" I told her they were very early in development and the head had not formed. She thought about it and then said "They are so adorable!" I think so too!
Please keep us in your prayers as these next hours seem to be the longest of the wait.
Monday, April 14, 2008
So here is the menu, but I will just plan the day as I go:
- Mickey Mouse Hamburgers (had this today) - got these for .99 cents a box
- Beef Ribs
- Hot Dogs
- Tuna Helper
Yeah - nothing fancy this week, just easy quick things - but hey it is a plan!
Go to orgjunkie.com to see other's menu's for the week!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Here are some of my other favorite TV shows right now (all DVR'd of course)? Boy Do I love me some TIVO!
- Battlestar Galatica (yes - seriously this Rocks!)
- Jon and Kate + Eight (this is what Roon and I would be like with all those kids)
- Property Ladder (or any show that involves house flipping - love it)
- Survivor (yes - guilty pleasure I know)
- Jericho (I can't believe it was cancelled again - ugh CBS why?)
- Bones (Roon and I both watch this)
What are you watching?
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Just 7 more days till we found out that we are pregnant! I am staying upbeat and positive - because really I have no control over the situation. I know God knows the desires of my heart and I pray that we are pregnant!
Monday, April 7, 2008
I am so proud of us - so I wanted to post some pictures (but I can't find them anywhere on my computer!). SO I am posting one of the organizer that Roon installed to hold things from our celling. It is way cool - but according to Roon is not the easy one hour one person install he thought. My car has been parked in the garage for almost three weeks.
What a feeling - feel the feeling.......(sing along now)
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The transfer went smoothly and now i just wait (in bed for the next 24 hours) and then light (very light) moving for another 24 hours!
Thanks for all your prayers - we are very blessed to have so many people who care!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Today the embryologist called and of the five, 2 fertilized! So as it stands now we are doing a day three transfer on Saturday morning of two. As we learned in our adoption process - we have to have Faith and that God's hand is in this situation.
Roon told me last night not to be disappointed if only two fertilize....he said that he had been praying and that is the number he felt God was giving him. We hold strong and thank you for all your support and prayers. Friday I start the big honking needle shots of progesterone - yeah they are a bit scary.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I had to do what is called a trigger shot last night! This has to be done exactly 36 hours before retrieval. Needless to say - Roon and I were like crazy people last night trying to time this exactly and do everything just right.
My ovaries feel like balloons right now - but they are ready to go!